Today when waiting for the gym

Today when waiting for the gym

How my day began

I was sitting on the driveway bench this morning thinking about all of the things I have managed to do this year, which is a plethora of different adventures, some where terrible experiences that I would not wish on my worse enemy, but then there were so many good wholesome things that have happened to me also.

My run down of this year

My story is long and full of woe. It would be ignorant of me to even attempt to pretend that my life was a sunshine walk in a garden made of gold. If I was midis I might feel happier but then gold never got him very far if you follow that story to it's clinical moral. Sometimes you have to be happy with what you have because wishing for more can leave you empty handed or worse having what you wanted but realizing you didn't want it at all.

This is how I kind of feel for many reasons, I love someone deeply, sometimes they haven't always been fair to me, but granted I am no angel either so I can't exactly say that it wasn't a two person dance the entire time for all of the highs and lows of the relationship which still seems to be on a high even if it is strained due to my appalling finances this year.

My money is on the ground as far as my income is concerned, I wish it were better but with a lack of being able to find steadily paid work it just isn't ticking the magic buttons when it comes to being stable and able to afford all of the nuances of life.

The reality of me getting older

My 30th birthday is coming up and there is a party planned for that event, mostly over seen by my mother who cannot seem to loosen her grip on the reins enough to realize that I am capable but at the same time no one works well as a one person band, you can play 1 instrument very well but doing all of the others will make it a tragic mess at best.

The two cats that I've acquired are gorgeous little kittens but they have an anxiety issue possibly due to them being weened far too young, they are safe, happy, healthy but tend to have issues with being calm, relaxed and calm.

My hopes

If I could put this year into a nutshell, it's been a roller coaster and the ride isn't over just yet but I am creeping rapidly closer to the big three zero and the breaks aren't working.

I just hope that I don't crash in a blaze of tragedy and it's glory that will prevail, time will tell.

Signed

Roxks